Dr. David Sunday

[kraftykate]

[kraftykate]

His refined Victoriana accent and warm smile gave his words the flavor required. He wanted to assure those around him that he was a sophisticated and caring gentleman. After all he was as sophisticated as the next man, he was a gentleman, and he did care. However these things, to him, were as fluid as the contents of the small brown bottles he was selling.

“The body's natural state is one of health, my friends. Many of you may not agree as you feel the aches and pains your hard work right down into your bones. Perhaps you have all but forgotten how health and vigor feels. As a physician, I am here to tell you that the restoration of your health is my chief concern.”

These were things that he truly did believe. “Heal the sick”, “do no harm” and all that. However, truth was however fluid to the individual, and all fluids conformed to the container in which they were placed. For this reason he had “rules.”

Rule 14: If you believe it, they believe it.

A crowd had started to form around his collapsible stand. It was a suitcase when traveling, but could become a small pharmaceutical booth in only a few moments. His was gracefully removed from his head and held over his heart. The soft smile of course never faltering.

“Hello. I'm Dr. David Sunday and I'm here to present you all with my patented Wonder Tonics.”

A skilled hand waved over a multitude of brown bottles. Some contained very real art of pharmacy, while others were cleverly disguised waters. Placebos, after all, were a legitimate prescription as well.

His eyebrows up turned and his smile faded as he spied a woman with bags under her eyes. “Do you suffer from insomnia? I have a tonic for that.” The concern was carried to the next person. A man with five teeth. Two of which must have been in his pocket. “Do you wish to retain the strength of your teeth. I have a mouth rinse for that.”

It was then, that a constable happened upon the crowd and his booth. The Good doctor wasted no time in calling out to him. “You there, constable! Does the strain of your position and do the nefarious acts of man grate on your nerves? For you sir, I have a tonic the likes of which, I dare say, you have not experienced.” Dr. David's hand went directly to a bottle that was not a placebo and he handed it to the copper that had come forward suspiciously. “Free of charge to you. The law must be upheld of course.”

Rule 21: There is profit in the law.

The smile returned. “Go ahead, my good man. Drink up. You shall feel a coolness descend into you and that shall be followed by calmness of mind. Do not fear however, your mind shall be sharper than ever as ice settles into your nerves.”

First surprise was shown on the constables face, then it settled into delight. This was a true nerve tonic after all. Once the crowd saw the reaction, they did not hesitate to make their desire known.

“Please, please, I am happy to assist you all. For the very affordable price of three dollars a bottle, you too shall enjoy increased health.”

It would not be until late into the night that some may complain that the tonics did not have the desired effect. This, of course, was another opportunity for the doctor.

Rule 8: Repeat customers are as gold. Treasure them.

Should someone complain, he would simply explain that the individual's ailment required something a bit more robust and should be specially tailored to their body. After a physical examination (five dollars), he would give them a real drug tonic rather than a placebo and charge them a touch more for the special attention and care (another five dollars).

One may ask, “How did such a man come to be?” That is a story for another time.

[brendur]

(( I love this guy already. This is nothing but good times on the horizon.))